Cooking is expensive as sh*t... (Also, the first recipe has been decided!)

First off, like many I know, I've got limited funds. So I think to myself, how the sh*t am I going to make all these meals? I mean, I'll do one serving of course to cut costs but to get "good ingredients" as another celeb chef Ina Garten would say, "use good olive oil." (her show even has a drinking game for that phrase), you WILL get smashed. Not maybe, but will. Also, only for those over 21 because this is the internet and I know if I don't say that I'll get a slap on the wrist. But really though, good olive oil is no joke. Also since there's been some recent scams done in Italy by organized crime replacing about 8% of each tablespoon in olive oil with some cheap a** substitute not even made from olives is under investigation and yes, Bertolli is part of this scam. Apparently this is a BIG thing. I mostly shrugged it off because I'm a cheap a** mofo and don't want to spend more than $5 on a bottle. I once saw a bottle of olive oil at Trader J's and it was $7 for the bottle and I know some people who have spent $15 on smaller bottles. For $15 I can gas my car up for the week, well, close to. Also don't even get me started on Whole Ripoff...I mean Whole Foods. I once saw a jar of honey that cost $50! FIFTY DOLLARS! I appropriately named it "anniversary honey" because there's really only one use for honey that expensive.

Anyway, as Matt Damon said, "I'm gonna have to science the shit out of this."

For the first recipe, I'm choosing something that will be fairly inexpensive, simple to make and then I will progress as this goes along. I'm still not making that beef wellington because that sh*t don't play around. I mean...look at it!

You've got to let the beef chill all night, take it out the next day, sear it until rare but brown on the outside which I've learned in my science of cooking class is a Maillard reaction, since it's not caramelization which requires sugar. And now you all know that as well. Do I get extra credit in cooking class for that though? The second thing for the wellington is to combine finely chopped mushrooms, "good olive oil" and thyme with other spices in a pan and again, brown them with a Maillard reaction. BOOM! Science! Also this mixture is called a "duxelles" (pronounced like duck-sails) not kidding. Then you have to roll out the pastry dough, then you place parma ham on cling film and spread the duxelles over the ham, then roll the meat up in that. THEN, place the meat onto the pastry and roll THAT. Then you have to make a red wine sauce as the beef is cooking. There are many more steps than that in the actual recipe.

I told you that sh*t ain't playing around!

This is why I chose the humble coconut glass noodle soup. Chef Ramsay's video on how to prepare it is below. I may have to transcribe the recipe for this blog because he doesn't have it up on his site.

So this, is what I'll be making for my assignment! I mean look at it, that soup is humble as sh*t.